elleebee

Drumroll please...

Every year there are 15 people at the table for Christmas dinner, and every year we start the meal with Christmas Crackers. Everyone crosses arms and we crack them all together at the same time. Then we put on our crowns, show off our piece of crap that came in the Cracker, and read the jokes aloud.
    This year we went with a new brand of Cracker and I have to say, these are the worst jokes I have ever heard! Needless to say we were all in hysterics.
It is ironic that really awful jokes that aren't funny make me laugh the hardest?

I now present to you, the very best (and by best, I mean worst) of the Christmas Cracker jokes from Christmas dinner 2008:

Q. If I had eight porcupines in one hand and seven porcupines in the other, what would I have?
A. BIG sore HANDS

Q. Why did the elephant wear sunglasses on the beach?
A. Because he didn't want to be recognized

Q. What do cannibals eat when they are on a diet?
A. Thin people

Tied for 1st place are these two:

Q. What is black and white and acts like a horse?
A. A zebra.

Yeah....I know, and it gets better.

AND

Q. What is yellow and dangerous?
A. Shark infested custard.

School ends and the real work begins

             Fall semester is over in exactly one week and I can hardly believe it!
I am fortunate this year to have almost a whole month off for Christmas, which, if you know me, is downright frightening.
Frightening because I wont have any sort of school stress to distract me from anticipating Christmas mentally, physically, musically, decoratively, and very, very, verbally.
                    
                        Squeals will be heard daily. Song will be continuous (and repetitive). Countdowns are imminent.

                                            WARNING: you will hate me by Christmas day.

        My advice to all is to embrace my overbearing Christmas cheer. It will only last until December 26th and then you can enjoy my nosedive into bitterness, impatience, and seasonal depression. The Christmas season is about love and joy, and when else are you going to get to see my sappy side? Besides, nobody likes a Grinch.

Ok, Christmas-disclaimer aside, here are some Christmas projects that I am excited for!

• Because my nasty spending habit has lost the battle against my income of zero dollars, I am endeavoring to craft all my close friends some Christmassy gifts. We'll see how that turns out.
• Mom's version of the Lauren Brucker Bail-out: I will be fixing and painting the spare bedroom. Will be very tempted to choose reds and greens.
  
• Annual Mom and Aunt Mary baking day. I'm going to try out a few new candy recipes! mmm....
• Every Christmas since the early 90's my family has put together a photo calendar of family photos for the year. Last year was the first time we didn't have one, so I am going to resuscitate the tradition.
• There are many books sitting on my shelf that I haven't had time to read, so I am really excited to get to those.

                                           The Know -It All by A.J. Jacobs - found this in a great new bookstore on the Danforth.                                               It's about a guy who tries to read the entire Encyclopedia Britannica.

The Know-It-All: One Man's Humble Quest to Become the Smartest Person in the World

Made in America by Bill Bryson - I borrowed this from my prof when I was in his office today for a meeting. I read a book by Bryson this summer and it was really really funny.

Made in America

Maybe it's all the Mad Men I've been watching

Is anyone else particularly annoyed that all but one Question of the Day is sponsored by Best Buy and is basically market research and advertising?
How obnoxious.
Don't answer them people, it's a trap!

Addicted

I always overdose on songs and then are unable to listen to them for months. I just can't get enough of these songs lately:

Wheel – John Mayer

Don’t Trust Myself (With Loving You) – John Mayer

Who Did You Think I Was – John Mayer “You got my number but I always knew the score, who did you think I was”

9 Crimes – Damien Rice

Don’t Give Up On Me – Solomon Burke

Comfortable (Live) – John Mayer “She prefers that I not use profanity. You’re mouth was so dirty”

Breathe me – Sia

Say Goodbye – Dave Matthews Band “All we are is wasting hours, till the sun comes, it’s all ours”

Helpless – Neil Young

Round Here – Counting Crows “She said I’m tired of life, everybody’s tired of something”

Stay – Maurice Williams and the Zodiacs

Something Like That (BBQ Stain) – Tim McGraw “I’ll bet you don’t remember me. Only every other memory”

Both Sides Now – Joni Mitchell

If You Want Me To Stay – Sly and the Family Stone

Bartender – T-payne

Jesse’s Girl – Rick Springfield “want to tell her that I love her but the point is probably moot”

Bold as Love – John Mayer cover (Jimi Hendrix) “all these emotions of mine keep holding me from giving my life to a rainbow like you”

I supose I'll enjoy them while it lasts.

 

QotD: Do Not Pass Go

I am kind of a sucker for really good questions where the answer has potential to tell you a lot more about a person then just a surface question. I have been having real trouble thinking of something to write about here (though I have been trying quite frequently), but today I saw this QotD and I think my problem is solved.

This is a great question! 

What is your all time favorite board game?

This question is awesome because you know you aren't just going to answer with the name and leave it at that. Most people will have some great personal reason why they love this game and their answer will come with some great family story or childhood memory. If you're anything like me, you will also have a hard time picking just one, and end up explaining why you love all of them.

Here's my answer:

Absolute Balderdash

I think I have to say Balderdash. It was a cut-throat decision. The contenders (Life, Guess Who, Candy Land, Monopoly Jr.) put up a good fight but Balderdash is total clasic.
If you aren't familiar with the game, firstly, I'm sorry, and welcome to the light. The newer version gets a bit complicated with categories and other stupid frivolities, but basically the game consists of making up definitions for rediculous words that have been lost in the English dictionary since the beginning of time. The point is to guess who has the real definition and to try and get other people to guess yours.

When I was really young we would stay with family friends in Vermont and the adults would play this all night and I would team up with my Mom or Dad and totally kill it. My seven year old self was pretty good at making up silly answers crazy enough to sound true. I think I had a lot more imagination back then. 

If you want to play, you can buy the game, but you can also just grab an old english dictionary and go to town. There are enough crazy words to last you days. My suggestion, play with lots of people and a bit of wine!

Duncan Alan McGugan and Dog

    Today May 20th is the 1 year anniversary of my Grandpa's death. Duncan Alan McGugan was his name and he was the funniest man I have ever known! I miss him terribly and love him dearly and I'm glad knowing that one day I will see him again.

Grandpa

    It does seem like a long time since his death but I also can't believe it has been a whole year. I had the privilege of  seeing him the day before, something I am so grateful for, and the days after his death I have never felt closer to him or my family. It was a beautiful and joyful funeral that I will always remember and I will never forget how many people showed up to celebrate his life.

Post 003

          
The morning my Grandpa died, his little dog Sadie got sick and then passed away during his funeral. I know he took her with him and I am glad he had a friend to go with. She was the sweetest little sheltie dog and I know she missed him while he was in the hospital. It was weird but also kind of comforting because we know that they went together.

Dunc, as he was called by almost everyone, always knew how to make me laugh and was always a crowd pleaser, especially with his nurses. He used to do Donald Duck impressions and threaten to steal my dolls because he didn't have one to sleep with at night. He made funny faces and I even have a physio therapy work out video of him recorded on my old cell phone from when he was in the hospital. The last words we ever said to each other were in joking.

I will never forget my Grandpa and I will always be sad that the important people who enter my life from now on wont be able to meet him. But I have endless funny stories for those people and it is safe to say that they will know the joy that he brought to my family.

Post 006

       
I love you Grandpa and I hope they are treating you well in heaven.

    "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the course, I have kept the faith in the future there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day; and not only to me, but also to all who have loved His appearing." -2 Timothy 4:7-8

Duncan Alan McGugan
May 20th 2007

Feeling a little lighter....right around the wallet area

So I just bought like $70 worth of paper....the buyers remorse has yet to kick in.
In my effort to start a journal and read more I purchased 2 pretty notebooks and this really awesome half notebook half book.

The 1/2 notebook book is called Listography: Your Life in Lists by Lisa Nola.

Listography Journal: Your Life in Lists

Lisa Nola

I snatched this up as soon as I saw it because I thought it was a great idea and I really liked the intro written by the author about why she made this book:

    Listography, the book, is designed to help you create your autobiography through list making. I created listography because I am nostalgic. I love the little details of life, from the experiences to favorites...I believe everyone should have an autobiography, if only for their loved ones to read and even in the simplest form: a list.

I am a huge list maker, and the book comes with great ideas and fun illustrations for each list.
Some of the lists are:
-List the places you've lived
-List your favourite TV shows of all time
-List the ways you have changed since your teens
-List professions you'd like to try
-List the best things about you
-List famous people you have encountered
-List things you love and dispise
-List things you'd like to do before you die
-List your hang outs past and present
-List your drunkenest moments

I think this book would make a great gift...if only just for yourself. There is also a website for the same purpose      
                                                          Listography.com

LISTOGRAPHY

                                             

New Years Resolutions

I have never been big on the new years resolutions....maybe because January 1st does not signal a new year in my mind. What really is new and refreshing and rejuvenating about January? Nothing except the number at the end of the 2000 increases by one. One tiny number that, if you are like me, doesn't work its way into your head or on to your paper for about a month anyway. After January 1st you have a few more days off school but then everything resumes right back to the way it has been since September.

I think spring is better suited to bring in the start of a new year. School ends (at least for university students), snow melts and the weather gets nice, and everything just relaxes a little bit.
So I am going to make my new years resolutions right now.

Read more.
    -I am America and So Can You by Stephen Colbert
    -The Heart is a Lonely Hunter by Carson McCullers (been on my shelf for years)
    -We are also hoping to read a book each month to our LITs
Any suggestions??

Start a journal. I'm just waiting to find a really pretty one

Get lots of daily exercise. Never a problem at camp but hopefully it will carry over.

Find more time to just be!!! I seriously need to just simmer down and relax. I also want to find more time to spend with all the girls together.

Season Finale Season....Sigh

    We have reached the time of year where the promos for my favorite shows include the sad words "season finale". On the bright side they often come with the glorius words "1 hour special", but this year it really should be 2hour special because of the writers strike that robbed me of my Mondays and Thursdays for months, forcing me (much against my will) to find less pathetic things to occupy my time.
    Even though I will be tv-less at camp for the entire summer I still get sad that my favourite shows are ending. And to those of you who think that my tv driven life is sad a) it is a little and b) I don't care. I love tv, I love it.
So in honor of my life ending for the season, I am making some predictions about how the seasons will end...

Theoffice

The Office:
    The comeback started off strong with crazy Jan, the Jim/Pam engagement, Kevin's hilarity and Toby's AWESOME move on Pam, but its slowly been declining. I wont act like I didn't call Amanda screaming that Jim bought Pam a ring, but the fast moves concern me. On the weekend Taps said he thinks they are headed for a breakup, but if that happens I will just lose all faith in humanity, so I am saying they will hopefully just leave Jim and Pam where they are. I predict Michael will find a new woman and maybe Kelly will do something funny because she hasn't been around lately (except for when  she said to Ryan "yes I have lots of questions: first, how dare you?" and I shot milk out my nose). I also feel like Angela will dump Andy and her and Dwight will reunite. All I have to say is it better be good.

Gg

Gossip Girl:
    My guilty guilty passion. To be honest, I don't really care what happens, I just eat this crap up.

Battlestar-galactica

Battlestar Galactica:
    haha NOT!

(sorry, I know there are alot of BSG fans, but I don't understand. It took me months to even figure out what BSG meant)

Greys

Grey's Anatomy:
    Okay I don't think anyone really cares enough anymore to make predictions. Last season I was all over that, this year, not so much. But I still like the show and I feel like they are slowly redeeming themselves so I will throw a few guesses out there. Callie and Hahn will probably hook up, Karev will find out his baby mamma is a huge liar and then he will get mad at Issie for not telling him and Issie will continue to live in self loathing blah blah blah. I can hope for Derek and Meredith to get back together but thats how the last season ended so I doubt it...maybe we will get more delicious tension though. My biggest hope is that they will make Yang suck it up!!! She has become so soft and so totally lame. Maybe they will all get a big smack and stop being so whiney!

ATN: all you music lovers

Josh just showed me possibly the coolest thing ever!!!!
you HAVE to check it out.

He added this application to Firefox called StumbleUpon which lets you pick out a bunch of your interests and then adds a button to your toolbar that lets you "stumble upon" random websites that meet your interests.

Anyways, he found the most amazing website called Musicovery that has a scale for mood. You click on an area that best describes your mood and then it brings up a map of all of this music that would fit your current mood. If you click on one song it opens up even more.

Now I am not the biggest music buff but I do like finding new artists to listen to and I do enjoy my mood music, so for me this is the coolest thing ever!

Go and see!!!